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| The official Valentines Day heartbreak thread thingy | ||
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| .4ngryToasters |
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you would
Registered Member #149
Joined: Sun Feb 12 2006, 01:08AMPosts: 2039 |
Ok fellas, this thread goes out to all you guys who had a romantic evening with your right hand tonight instead of that cute girl you've been hitting on (you know the one I'm talking about). Dr.4ngry is here to ease your pain and he has plenty of prescription drugs to go around. Lets here your stories of heart ache and let it all out... cry if you have to. Dr.4ngry is so helpful, he'll even go first to break the ice:
In the fall, I used to throw a lot of parties at my house (i mean a loooot of parties). This one particular party I met a girl who was pretty hot and was definitely into me. This girl happened to be the biggest cock tease anyone could ever meet. Her name was Mary-Kate, and yes she did make you say both names (as if the hyphen in her name wasn't enough of a red flag for me... but I was feeling lucky). We hit it off pretty good, but for some reason I just couldn't convince her to come upstairs to my bed... she was more interested in my computer and my facebook profile... but what the hell, if it meant getting laid I'd suddenly become a huge fan of facebook too.
Needless to say i didn't get any action that night, but there were still plenty of parties to be had where I could see her again and maybe get lucky. However the next party I was having was a Halloween costume party, and my friend Mike was coming over. Now to understand what this means, you need some background information on Mike.
As long as I've known Mike, he's stolen every single girl I've shown interest in and successfully cock blocked me just about every chance he gets (despite the obvious flaw the kid is somehow still one of my best friends). I couldn't let him get this girl if it meant me getting laid.
Sure enough he came over and Mary-Kate was hanging all over him. At one point he had to go pick up one of my other friends for the party, and Mary-Kate wanted to go with him. Well I wasn't about to let this happen without a fight so I got in the car with him and off we went. While we were out my party got busted... We came home to my very angry parents and the party was moved to Eric's house while I had to deal with two angry Adults. Since i wasn't around, Mike had the opportunity to win over Mary-Kate while I dealt with the yelling.
Later I found out Mary-Kate was a complete screamo bitch who actually cut herself (what a psycho). I was glad I didn't get too involved with that, but there was still the issue of Mike stealing my girlfriend. By this time it was New Years and my friend Matt was throwing a party at his house. the very same week I broke up with Mary-Kate, Mike had the nerve to bring her as his date to the party. Well I convinced everyone to cock block him for the night and give him a hard time for being such a prick. By the end of the night, everyone ended up in a brawl with someone else.
Well that bitch disappeared after that episode and all's well now. moral of the story: Bros before Hoes
Edited Fri Feb 15 2008, 08:18PM
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| NoSkill |
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Sir
Registered Member #457
Joined: Tue Oct 10 2006, 01:13PMPosts: 2628 |
Dude... Um there's a better way to deal with AMOGs (alpha males of the group) and it's either by befriending them or out alphaing them.... However, this girl doesn't seem worth your energy. Honestlly... she's kind of ugly... im sorry... maybe someone else has a different opinion. |
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| O_Mega |
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Inconsistant Ownage Device
Registered Member #59
Joined: Sat Dec 10 2005, 06:12PMPosts: 1058 |
Noskill, I demand decent pictures of all the girls you sleep with/have relationships with. | ||
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| Madvillain |
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Registered Member #445
Joined: Sun Oct 01 2006, 11:42PMPosts: 2233 |
lol how about i take noskills picture down from the website, ask a bunch of girls i know "would u fuck this guy?" and see the results. |
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| .4ngryToasters |
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you would
Registered Member #149
Joined: Sun Feb 12 2006, 01:08AM Posts: 2039 |
Missing the point of the thread, Dr.4ngry is here to help those heartbroken souls who have been rejected by valentines day... not listen to NoSkill claim he's not a virgin.
NoSkill, for you I prescribe Ambien CR, To help you sleep at night after making such a ridiculous claim
Edited Fri Feb 15 2008, 07:15AM
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| Madvillain |
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Registered Member #445
Joined: Sun Oct 01 2006, 11:42PM Posts: 2233 |
lol tru tru uhhhh, coincidently the girl im talkin about now has a bday right after valentines day (shes having a get toghether at some restaurant). well, i've known this girl for about.....uhhh 9 years ( considering im 18, thas a long ass time) and right now, shes top 3 on my list of girls to bone. she was on that list for about ...i'd say the last 3 years but everytime the option of "us" comes about, its just bad timing. i mean, the last time we talked about the subject i found out she still wants me but the prob is im at college and shes back home and shes gotta a man and blah blah blah... funny thing is that last time when she had a man and i didnt do anything (make moves w.e u wanna call it) she was like "WTF why didnt u do anything" (i think tryin me or somethin) i was like cuz u gotta man and she was like "so..." but yea, i guess this is a heartbreak cuz i would say i want this chick but i don't have her. Eventhough i think i got her on lock. P.S. kill times gonna gay this thread up cuz he knows the person im talking about... Edited Fri Feb 15 2008, 07:34AM |
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| Madvillain |
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Registered Member #445
Joined: Sun Oct 01 2006, 11:42PM Posts: 2233 |
hey noskill, does ur "HB" system take into account nice bodies or all face. i ono how to rate this one im talking about... | ||
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| .4ngryToasters |
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you would
Registered Member #149
Joined: Sun Feb 12 2006, 01:08AM Posts: 2039 |
Ok Madvillan, I feel your pain. Seems to me like you need a little confidence boost. For you I'm prescribing some tequila. Not enough so you slur your words and stumble around, but just that magical amount to loosen you up a bit and speak your mind.
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| Syntax |
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Rudeboy Supreme!
Registered Member #617
Joined: Fri Mar 23 2007, 06:37AMPosts: 1252 |
I liked a girl for the past year, she told me she liked me, had a bf she didnt like anymore, they broke up, asked her out a week later (thought that was enough time?) WRONG, too late?What a slut?She replied "There are 3 other guys who like me too!" I was like "You told me...w.e" then the next day she thought i was mad at her and i was lke "no, you said you would tell me and didnt" so i just assumed it was a no and am going on with my life.... So that was like last year, she stil has a bf, i still like her. But we dont really talk much now and Im just plain trying to get over her, and move on. GURLZ SUX! |
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| NoSkill |
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Sir
Registered Member #457
Joined: Tue Oct 10 2006, 01:13PM Posts: 2628 |
I'll see what I can do Megs... In other news, I officially pissed off an entire table of chicks last night. I mean like 3 of them literally got up and walked away, that's never happened to me before. And honestly I think they overreacted... lol funny story, let's recap: It's National Singles Awareness Day. After 13 beers with my buddy playing Madden, we meet up with 2 of his chick friends. 1 is a smoking hot HB9, we'll call her HBAsian.Her friend is a 2 and fat and loud, we'll call her Ugly Loud Girl. So me and my wing are drunk, but fun, the girls show up and want to "go have fun". And we're all about fun, so despite the ugliness of Ugly Loud Girl, I decide I'll just meet people out. First sign of a bad night, the two places these girls want to go just so happen to be the two places me and my wing are BANNED from. Well there's no arguing with Ugly Loud Girl... because you don't really want to be mistaken for having a conversation with her... so we decide to go to the place I'm banned from... much to my chagrin. Fortunately we get there and the guy working the door is new, the cop isn't on duty and I've never seen the bartender before... looks like NoSkill gets to stay. Unfortunately there's NO FEMALES in the building. I mean seriously, it's a bunch of guido's and greenhorn meatheads... fuckin sweet... so after I make fun of Ugly Loud Girl for picking such a shitty bar for 20 minutes we leave. On to bar #2... this place is a fucking dive. I mean a hole in the wall. It's known as a biker bar in the summer and in the winter... it's known for... well sucking. All year round you can score ample amounts of blow though... but that's another story for another time. So we get there... I'm drunk, pissed, bored and sitting in a place I can't stand after leaving a place I couldn't stand. I start drinking SoCo... on the rocks. I make friends with a big jacked guy on my left, Cool Guy, we start laughing because every single girl in this place (there's about 30 people and 20 girls) is over 200 pounds. It's a pig farm. Now sometimes... in every man's life, you have to go a-hoggin. It's like a right of passage. Eventually I don't care who you are or how good you are with women, eventually, you have to fuck a fat chick. It's like an odds thing... But I've already fucked my fat chick and I wasn't lookin for a repeat. So we start making fun of all the fat chicks singing karaoke (sp?) and dancing and shit... lol omg... to be fat single and dancing in this shitty bar on Valentine's Day... let's just say I felt better about myself. Ok so Cool Guy leaves with the only attractive woman in the place and now I'm drinking, avoiding my Wing because he's with friends of Ugly Loud Girl... and let's just say they're all Ugly and Loud... and fat. He comes over and he's like "Dude you're being anti-social, come talk with us, be funny, do what you always do." LoL... worst advice ever. You see, what I "always do" tends to mean "say what's on your mind". In many situations this leads to hilarity and good times, in some situations however, when I'm not having fun for example, what tends to be on my mind is usually the last thing the douchebags that are around me want to hear. So I sit down and they're talking about work so I ask. "So what do you guys do?" Them "Oh we all work at TGI Fridays, blah blah blah." Me "Oh yah? No shit, how long have you all worked there?" "5 years" "2 months" "3 years" "I'm fat" Me "No shit... that kind of sucks huh? I mean what? You guys don't have anything else better going for you where you have to work at TGI Fridays?" Lmao... if this were a slow motion film of a car crash, this would be the part where the dudes head begins to impact the windshield. They explode... and boy... let me tell you, I'm not scared of anything really (except horses) but when you have 800 pounds of ugly loud females wanting to ring your 160 lb neck for telling them all they suck at life... I was scared. But I was drunk so I kept going... "What? I mean seriously, I WAS a waiter... it sucks, come on, get a real fucking job." "FUCK THIS GUY!" "HE'S AN ASSHOLE!!!" "I'm not gonna sit through this any longer." "I am seriously fucking huge." So they storm off... and I laugh. I feel like I just conquered the table. I don't know what the prize was... but I think I won. (ridding yourself of ugly loud fat girls... is a form of winning, right?) Anyway, 15 minutes later, the original Ugly Loud Girl comes over to me and is like "that was really mean, you know that?" and I'm like "whatever I don't care, your friends suck anyway" and she goes "You know, you really are an asshole... I don't know why I like you" and she gives me the doggy dinner bowl look. (google it) LoL... I wish I could tell you that I was too drunk to think straight and took the fat ugly girl home to fuck... that would be an awesome ending... but I didn't nope... I just went home and passed out. The moral of the story? I dunno... I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds. Goat wrote ... GURLZ SUX! They sure do but man... they make for awesome stories. |
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