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| Cookie Monster |
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Registered Member #770
Joined: Tue Jul 03 2007, 03:16PMPosts: 696 |
My Dad left me and mum for another woman, took £25,000 out of the mortgage so we had to find some where to live fast. At this time my grandad was ill and it came to my birthday were I received card from my grandma informing me that my grandad had passed away a couple of months ago. My Dad didn't even have the balls to tell me, so Japa you should be glad to of had a loving, family man father and keep remembering the good times you had with him but still sorry for your loss =[. | ||
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| Madvillain |
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Registered Member #445
Joined: Sun Oct 01 2006, 11:42PMPosts: 2233 |
how did your father pass away? | ||
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| NoSkill |
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Sir
Registered Member #457
Joined: Tue Oct 10 2006, 01:13PMPosts: 2628 |
He already said, heart attack. Read more please. Well Japa, there's a few things you can do, first of all knowing that your father was influential enough in your life to even warrant the feelings you're currently feeling should offer some solace. In other words... some people don't have great relationships, or worse, have horrible ones, so that when someone like their father dies... well hell they might as well be better off. This is a very negative state of mind and is likely to rear it's ugly head in future relationships. At least you seem to have had a decent relationship, cherish this memory and be thankful for what you did (and still do) have. In other words, you're likely a different person today than you would have been without your father. Just think about that and how he would want you to be still, going forward. (if he were back for one more day, what do you think he would tell you?) There's also alot of good help out there on the subject. -[link]- For example is a great book on the subject of death, what it means for us emotionally and mentally. How humans perceive death and the various rituals different cultures have, all expressing that this event is of extreme importance to most people. It may help you gain perspective, that humans as a whole mourn the same way you do over death. And that you're not only not alone... but at some point, everyone will be involved intimately in the firm understanding of what it means to be mortal. And that how ultimately we are very frail creatures, who take more risk than we should and don't appreciate the how precious life truly is. Hope this helps man. Good luck, be strong, remember your father now lives in you, everything he had to give now resides in you, make him proud. |
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| NoSkill |
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Sir
Registered Member #457
Joined: Tue Oct 10 2006, 01:13PM Posts: 2628 |
Oh and one more thing. Not just the understanding of mortality, but acceptance of it. Being able to live, and truly enjoy life, but yet still be accepting of death. This is a level of serenity & understanding that few people can ever truly attain. But those who do are ultimately the best prepared to deal with the inevitable. |
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| Ruskiy Soldat |
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Registered Member #465
Joined: Tue Oct 17 2006, 10:00PMPosts: 1295 |
Sorry man.... | ||
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| JapJap |
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Sup son?
Registered Member #720
Joined: Fri May 25 2007, 01:09AMPosts: 1326 |
Alrighty. Thanks so much guys... this just fucked me up so bad that I couldn't do shit all. For the record, I had a very close and strong relationship with my dad... so it's really hard. Noskill, you're almost too smart. Thinking what I did have, and currently do really helped. I now realize that you can look forward without ever having to turn back and feel like shit, and at the same time see and understand our mortality... it could have happened to any of us. Thanks man, I really appreciate it... |
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| NoSkill |
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Sir
Registered Member #457
Joined: Tue Oct 10 2006, 01:13PM Posts: 2628 |
That's what I'm here for. =) | ||
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