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| Crazy Pet Owner Stories | ||
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| b4ndito |
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b4ndito
Registered Member #958
Joined: Fri Jan 04 2008, 06:59AMPosts: 3385 |
Okay, so by now we've probably heard all about the crazy old lady with a chimp for a pet (reading poems to it, drinking wine with it, feeding it steak and xanax tea, etc). The chimp ripped some bitches face off. So, I figured now was as good a time as any to tell my crazy pet story: A coworker of mine met this older lady at a wedding. This lady was single and in her mid 40's. She had a pet boa constrictor. She would do crazy stupid things like take it on walks (with a leash) and she also slept in the bed with said boa constrictor. After a few years, the snake got to be like 7-10 feet long, and it was still sleeping in bed with this woman. So the Snake stopped eating for about 3 weeks. The lady figured he was sick, so she gave him mice and all the normal shit, but the snake wouldn't eat. It started sleeping funny, also; it would sleep completely stretched out in a straight line, on her bed. The lady took the snake to a vet, because she was afraid the snake was deathly ill. The vet heard her story, locked up the snake, and then euthanized it. The snake was sizing her up to eat her. People with exotic pets are fucking dumb, is the moral of the story. |
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| Jesus[tzahal] |
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![Jesus[tzahal]](/media/avatar/100x0/upload/mango_kiwi.1172003384.jpg)
Registered Member #530
Joined: Wed Jan 03 2007, 10:56PMPosts: 807 |
Funny. I heard the same story and it wasn't from my co-worker! But this shit happens f'real. It's dangerous shit. Give that snake 2 more days and the entirety of that woman would be swallowed | ||
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| Madvillain |
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Registered Member #445
Joined: Sun Oct 01 2006, 11:42PMPosts: 2233 |
thats a cool ass story lol but that bitch wit da chimp... dam.... i picture the stupid chimp going "INTRUDER, ALERT" then attacking her when all she did was cut her hair. lol fuckin wow |
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| Noname|Boom |
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That one guy...
Registered Member #250
Joined: Tue May 09 2006, 11:59PMPosts: 2603 |
Sometimes common sense really isn't that common. | ||
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| b4ndito |
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b4ndito
Registered Member #958
Joined: Fri Jan 04 2008, 06:59AM Posts: 3385 |
Noname|Boom wrote ... Sometimes common sense really isn't that common. Sometimes axioms are really cliches. |
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| Maddogme |
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Registered Member #964
Joined: Sat Jan 12 2008, 07:23PMPosts: 1776 |
cool story bro. | ||
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| Noname|Boom |
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That one guy...
Registered Member #250
Joined: Tue May 09 2006, 11:59PM Posts: 2603 |
b4ndito wrote ... nou
Noname|Boom wrote ... Sometimes common sense really isn't that common. Sometimes axioms are really cliches. |
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| emerican |
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Registered Member #164
Joined: Tue Mar 07 2006, 12:07PMPosts: 3146 |
about 6 years ago we had a party at my house for my little league baseball team (cause my dad was the coach). me and a couple kids were playing slamball on my trampoline when my cat ran out the screen door (which had a hole in the screen) to the deck. it then jumped down a hole in the deck, ran across the back lawn, jumped onto a tree, climbed about 20 feet up, and sat on a branch. All of the kids and adults stared at my cat in wonder, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. Then out of nowhere it pounces on something, falls 20 feet down the tree, lands on a tarp, and starts running back to the deck. It jumps up onto it, runs over to the screen door, and drops a dead cardinal at the door. It then runs back to the same tree, climbs even higher, pounces on something else, and climbs back down. Again, it runs over to the door, and this time drops a chipmunk. It then went on to lick its ass before taking a nap on a lawnchair. Not as crazy as the boa constrictor or the chimp, but ill never forget dunking over some kid while watching my cat climb a hugeass pine tree. oh, and this is the same cat dumb enough to fall into a barrel of oil and try to lick itself clean. |
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