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| A letter to the stupid twat who visited the gps department today | ||
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| .4ngryToasters |
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you would
Registered Member #149
Joined: Sun Feb 12 2006, 01:08AMPosts: 2039 |
As some of you may know, I work at a respected electronics store. Every day I meet new people, and every day I am amazed at what Darwin has allowed to reproduce. Every now and then I am pleasantly surprised, and an interesting person will send their knowledge my way, and remind me of why I love this job. Today was not one of those days. I knew you were trouble the moment I laid eyes on you. I avoided you like the plague, yet you followed me with your stupid yellow cart like a lost puppy dog. I didn't bother to ask why you had the cart for just one camera case (you obviously weren't much of a driver having bumped into every television box and aisle end cap on your way to see me). You then gave me a clue what I was in for when you mispronounced G-P-S and described it to me, the expert, as the "thingy that tells you where to drive" as if I wasn't sure what every customer comes over to my department for. I started my usual demo for invalids (I have different level demos to cope with different intelligence levels), and tried to explain how to use a gps, but you had some sort of hyper ADHD that compelled you to push me out of the way and try it out for yourself. I could clearly see the keypad was far too much for you to handle. Had there been an extra bell or unexpected whistle, I'm certain your head would've exploded. On top of that, you entered your home address into a public demo... (which I could see was actually down the street from where I live... happy Halloween bitch). I made due, but your hyper ADHD took over again and caused you to run to the other side of the gps table, making sure not to miss bumping into all of my displays. At this point, it was no longer an option, but my duty to commit you into buying a gps with spoken address entry, cause anything else would surely distract you into a crash on the road. Granted they were a little more expensive, and I would have to work harder to make the sale. But what happened next completely caught me completely off guard You spotted the Nextar gps for $99. Looking back now I'm sorry for being ethical and honest, I really am. I tried to save you the trouble and headaches of the shitiest gps on the market, but somehow you saw my warnings as an attack. You exploded into an irrational rage. It was at that moment I realized I was dealing with a TWAT. A twat is the kind of person who shows up at an accident after the ambulance has pulled away and the clean up crew is clearing up the road, and wants to submit a police report anyway. A twat is reason why cafe's have to put a big red label saying "This is hot, don't be a fucking retard," on their coffee. A twat is responsible for voting Bush in twice. You started accusing me of being a bloodthirsty salesman. I was overselling you and not showing you the budget models (which were all shit, and reported to me as shit by unhappy past customers). And the reason why you knew this is because you worked in marketing before. (lies) I tried to calm you down and explain why I was only showing you good gps's, but you hyper ADHD was in overdrive, and we were far beyond the event horizon, spiraling into the waiting black hole. You had proven to me you were stupid, but that wasn't enough. It was now time to prove to the whole store that you were in fact batshit crazy. You had me call my manager over. I put out the call over my walkie, and to my disdain, the most hard assed manager in the store was the first to answer my call. For identity purposes we will call him Skinhead. Immediately Skinhead wanted to know exactly what the situation was, so I gave my best description I could: "I have a customer over here that is unsatisfied with the gps's. She is upset because the cheaper ones do not come with as many features as the more expensive ones." Throughout the laughter came a groan, as Skinhead surly knew exactly what he was in for. Skinhead came over with a look of 'what did you fuck up now,' and confronted you to see what I did wrong. You explained to Skinhead you were now a teacher, and on the administrative staff as well (I weep for those students). Much of the same was played out, until I saw the exact moment that he too came to the conclusion we were dealing with a twat. The focus was now on getting you out of the store. I grabbed the cheapest gps, and made it into the best thing in your pathetic world,.. In your skepticism, you asked about our return policy (30 days to return, 15% restocking fee if the box is opened and the gps is not defective). Surprisingly, you didn't listen, and decided we would change our return policy for you. No. I explained why we can only give a full refund if the gps is defective, and you retorted with if you didn't like the gps, you would return it for a full refund, to which I re-explained we couldn't do... to which you retorted....... Seeing that you had trapped yourself in a never-ending logic bomb, Skinhead placed the gps in your empty cart, pointed to the front lanes and said "The registers are up there, I don't get paid enough to listen to you. From here on, you're on your own." I wanted to shake his hand, no buy him lunch. I had never seen such justice in all my years of retail. Today, the customer stood before me, wrong. |
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| Kcow |
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Registered Member #643
Joined: Tue Apr 10 2007, 04:44PMPosts: 1921 |
Beautiful | ||
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| Zero |
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I want to fuck your hand.
Registered Member #571
Joined: Thu Feb 15 2007, 09:59PMPosts: 2809 |
that made my drunken night that much better <3 | ||
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| emerican |
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Registered Member #164
Joined: Tue Mar 07 2006, 12:07PMPosts: 3146 |
wheres the address we'll mail goatse printouts to her |
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| Maddogme |
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Registered Member #964
Joined: Sat Jan 12 2008, 07:23PMPosts: 1776 |
emerican wrote ... wheres the address we'll mail goatse printouts to her Emer.. Seriously..? Ever heard of Project Chanology. Go get ideas from there, not the basic, "oh we'll send nude pixs to her." |
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| ABadNewsBear |
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Registered Member #611
Joined: Wed Mar 21 2007, 08:35PMPosts: 219 |
Few things on teh internetz make me actually laugh out loud. Well written toasters. | ||
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| peacebypeice |
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peacebypeice
Registered Member #925
Joined: Mon Nov 26 2007, 05:23AMPosts: 1452 |
lol...amazing story dr.angry..just amazing | ||
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| gLiTch |
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Anal Assassin
Registered Member #455
Joined: Mon Oct 09 2006, 04:58AMPosts: 3848 |
I had a great day too. Today, i was feeling nice so while driving down a street i notice a fat black bitch about to cross... No she was too good to cross at a crosswalk... she wanted to jay-walk in front of traffic. Sure, that's cool everybody does it. Hell so do i. I started to come down the street and she stops because im coming. I slow down my car since no one was behind me and she was already standing in the middle of the street. I waved to her nicely with a smile to let her know i was stopping for her so she could safely cross the street. To my astonishment (like i didnt see it coming), she put on a "stuck up black selfish i have everything entitled to me bitch" face and crossed the street. Then, she didnt say thank you. I was appalled... as i looked at her from the yonder. She proceeds to curse me out. My jaw hit the ground, my foot hit the pedal, and i screamed out the window, "YOU FUCKING FAT NIGGER WELFARE PIECE OF SHIT! I SHOULD OF DID THIS WORLD A FAVOR AND RUN YOU THE FUCK OVER!" I suddenly felt better about myself. Edited Wed Jul 08 2009, 04:02AM |
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| Maddogme |
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Registered Member #964
Joined: Sat Jan 12 2008, 07:23PM Posts: 1776 |
gLiTch wrote ... I had a great day too. Today, i was feeling nice so while driving down a street i notice a fat black bitch about to cross... No she was too good to cross at a crosswalk... she wanted to jay-walk in front of traffic. Sure, that's cool everybody does it. Hell so do i. I started to come down the street and she stops because im coming. I slow down my car since no one was behind me and she was already standing in the middle of the street. I waved to her nicely with a smile to let her know i was stopping for her so she could safely cross the street. To my astonishment (like i didnt see it coming), she put on a "stuck up black selfish i have everything entitled to me bitch" face and crossed the street. Then, she didnt say thank you. I was appalled... as i looked at her from the yonder. She proceeds to curse me out. My jaw hit the ground, my foot hit the pedal, and i screamed out the window, "YOU FUCKING FAT NIGGER WELFARE PIECE OF SHIT! I SHOULD OF DID THIS WORLD A FAVOR AND RUN YOU THE FUCK OVER!" I suddenly felt better about myself. You just call people fat niggers on rare events? That's basicly how I say hi outside of the internets. |
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| NoSkill |
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Sir
Registered Member #457
Joined: Tue Oct 10 2006, 01:13PMPosts: 2628 |
Good story Dr. Angry, keep it up. You should start a blog you might be the next Tucker Max. for people who are easily offended anyway. | ||
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