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| .4ngryToasters |
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you would
Registered Member #149
Joined: Sun Feb 12 2006, 01:08AMPosts: 2039 |
Maddogme wrote ... Nostie and Rusty had to take this into rl :l You just have a large sum of money, you didn't get it in the lottery, you just got it. Tax free, fucking anything free. This seems to me to insinuate a rather dubious situation. There are not many scenarios where this can happen, so allow me to simplify how one might come into inheriting such a fortune in the real world. You may be part of the Columbian mafia, about to stage a cu on the big boss guy. You bust into his mansion and splatter several of his goons brains all over his priceless artwork. You make your way up to his panic room, butchering everything that comes in your way. Finally, you get to work on his human safe, with plasma cutters and hack saws. But That's when you notice he has released his pet tigers on you. You wrestle the 500 lbs of pure muscle, claws and teeth to the ground, but somehow mange to drop your sidearm just out of reach. Right as you are about to become a tiger snack, you remember you have a turret kill-streak that you have been saving. You unleash the fury, and the tiger is reduced to a bloody pulp. Finally, you can crack open the panic room, and end this guys, pathetic, miserable life. You think of the most badass thing you can muster, which happens to be a quote from Willy Wonka. In a rather gritty voice, you utter "You have lost, GOOD DAY SIR!" and put two right between his eyes. Now you go to seize the tainted drug money, but the Federales have heard the ruckus, and are determined to spoil your day. You have no intention of going quietly, when suddenly, one of you crew bashes you on the back of the head, and everything goes black. You wake up in a concrete bunker with a headache the size of that tiger you defeated 4 lines back. Someone is injecting you with what seems to be some kind of truth serum, and asking you why you went postal, and murdered your whole platoon while you were invading Kim Jong Il's secret base. You struggle to break free of your bonds, and druggily walk over to the nearest terminal. You type in the cheat code "do "get paid" while {1 > 0};" You become a billionaire in 5 cycles, and Glas4d is fat. |
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| Buddha |
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Boodz
Registered Member #528
Joined: Tue Jan 02 2007, 11:41PMPosts: 1085 |
Glas4d wrote ... Unfortunately you yankees lose half of your winnings to taxes. Here in Canada all your winnings are tax free, I believe. Dear Glas,  Love, Buddha |
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| nostie |
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Registered Member #185
Joined: Thu Mar 30 2006, 10:42PMPosts: 3167 |
Buddha wrote ... lol'd.
Glas4d wrote ... Unfortunately you yankees lose half of your winnings to taxes. Here in Canada all your winnings are tax free, I believe. Dear Glas, Love, Buddha |
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| amishburrito |
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amishburrito
Registered Member #1185
Joined: Fri Oct 30 2009, 09:53AMPosts: 352 |
if I were in movies I'd be famous |
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| Maddogme |
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Registered Member #964
Joined: Sat Jan 12 2008, 07:23PMPosts: 1776 |
.4ngryToasters wrote ... Maddogme wrote ... Nostie and Rusty had to take this into rl :l You just have a large sum of money, you didn't get it in the lottery, you just got it. Tax free, fucking anything free. This seems to me to insinuate a rather dubious situation. There are not many scenarios where this can happen, so allow me to simplify how one might come into inheriting such a fortune in the real world. You may be part of the Columbian mafia, about to stage a cu on the big boss guy. You bust into his mansion and splatter several of his goons brains all over his priceless artwork. You make your way up to his panic room, butchering everything that comes in your way. Finally, you get to work on his human safe, with plasma cutters and hack saws. But That's when you notice he has released his pet tigers on you. You wrestle the 500 lbs of pure muscle, claws and teeth to the ground, but somehow mange to drop your sidearm just out of reach. Right as you are about to become a tiger snack, you remember you have a turret kill-streak that you have been saving. You unleash the fury, and the tiger is reduced to a bloody pulp. Finally, you can crack open the panic room, and end this guys, pathetic, miserable life. You think of the most badass thing you can muster, which happens to be a quote from Willy Wonka. In a rather gritty voice, you utter "You have lost, GOOD DAY SIR!" and put two right between his eyes. Now you go to seize the tainted drug money, but the Federales have heard the ruckus, and are determined to spoil your day. You have no intention of going quietly, when suddenly, one of you crew bashes you on the back of the head, and everything goes black. You wake up in a concrete bunker with a headache the size of that tiger you defeated 4 lines back. Someone is injecting you with what seems to be some kind of truth serum, and asking you why you went postal, and murdered your whole platoon while you were invading Kim Jong Il's secret base. You struggle to break free of your bonds, and druggily walk over to the nearest terminal. You type in the cheat code "do "get paid" while {1 > 0};" You become a billionaire in 5 cycles, and Glas4d is fat.  Edited Fri Mar 04 2011, 08:42AM |
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| Glas4d |
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Registered Member #756
Joined: Sat Jun 23 2007, 10:49PMPosts: 1717 |
I would make a mansion in Mexico. I would hire a staff of southern Americans. After moving them to Mexico I would give them one week to learn Spanish. After that week they would only be allowed to address me in Spanish. If they screwed up a sentence they would have to look up the correct pronunciation in a mini English to Spanish dictionary. On my mansion I would have a driving range. I would have midgets fetch all the balls while being naked with targets tattood on both there backs, stomachs and buts. In my basement I would have my very own sweat shot. This group of nimble fingered chinks would make prime Nikes and shit yo. My sweat shot workers would sleep in my garage on the pavement. The lucky ones would get to sleep under my engine of the daily driver which would make the said pavement under it warm. However on days when I want them to compete for this privilege I would have them take part in competitions. One of the competitions would be going in a clothes dryer full of marshmallows. The winner will be the one who can eat as many marshmallows in 30 seconds while the dryer is spinning. My weekend staff would be some dudes straight out of a place in Africa where they speak click. This staff will also have a week to learn English. Now since I will be to busy to learn click, I will also have a translator. This translator will have to transfer the click to Spanish to English. Every Wednesday night at 9:28pm I would receive FULL body massages from my amputee masseuse team. My wife will be Angry Toasters Ps. Buddha would be my personal ass wiper. For some reason I perceive him as having very soft, gentle hands. Oh yeah, I will also buy the website off of Krem and ban Slick and Vectorman. Then I will promote Kcow to assistant admin, only if he had a pic of his junk as his avatar. Edited Fri Mar 04 2011, 10:42AM |
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| Buddha |
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Boodz
Registered Member #528
Joined: Tue Jan 02 2007, 11:41PM Posts: 1085 |
My hands are actually very calloused and rough because I play guitar and violin, but I will still willing scratch up your butthole if it pleases you. | ||
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| Rusty |
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FTS Server Op
Registered Member #159
Joined: Wed Mar 01 2006, 06:33PMPosts: 2682 |
Glas, one problem with your plan. A dryer gets very very warm, said marshmallows might melt. Causing severe burns. So clearly some might end up drinking, but you only specified eating...there is your flaw. |
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| nostie |
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Registered Member #185
Joined: Thu Mar 30 2006, 10:42PM Posts: 3167 |
Glas4d, you think it's called a sweat shot...? | ||
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| gLiTch |
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Anal Assassin
Registered Member #455
Joined: Mon Oct 09 2006, 04:58AMPosts: 3848 |
Ill be the boring one. I would keep it simple. I would buy a house in Florida... not on the beach but maybe 5 minutes away. It would be massive, probably on the inter-coastal so i can have a nice dock. I will buy a small yacht to place on said dock. It will have a nice underground pool in the shape of Arnold Schwarzenegger's right bicep. Obviously inside the house would be epic. Im a tech guy so you can only imagine what i would do if i had the money. See, not only can i set up the sickest entertainment system known to man with my bare hands, but im also a handy man and would do most of the shit myself. I mean, i wont have a job with all this money so i have to keep myself busy somehow. Between running wires and cutting holes in walls and doing "faux painting" one could only imagine what i would do. I would buy six, yes six, 65 inch Samsung HDTVs and mount them INSIDE the biggest wall in my living room. I would build the ultimate computer. Yes, im talking something the EVGA Benchmarking team couldnt even get their hands on. The kind of machine that NASA would be envious to have. I would have my own small cooling tower to mount all my hard drives.. all 1000 of my 2 Terabyte drives. These would be home to all the movies known to man... in HD. Along with all the TV shows and seasons of my favorites. This Manputer (pronounced: man-pew-ter), would power my said TVs and be hooked up to the never seen before 14.2 Suround Sound. 14 speakers with two subwoofers. Ok... now that the hard part is over with... I would buy the 2 houses next to me. The one on the left, and on the right. If people were living in them, i would offer them 5x what their house is worth. The house on my left and the house on my right. I would demolish them. Knock them both down. This is so i can have room to build my garages. Yes.. Garages. I am a car fanatic as much as the next person. If i had the money i would be the next Jay Leno. I can't even begin to list the cars that would fill my garage. Just use your imagination. Anywayz, realistically i would donate a large chunk to the American Cancer Society for cancer research, set my friends and family up for life, start a family and live happily ever after. |
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