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| A Tribute to Fun Dip | ||
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| Wu-banga |
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Registered Member #49
Joined: Tue Dec 06 2005, 01:37AMPosts: 1561 |
 What is Fun Dip, you ask? It's powdery sugardust you eat off of edible chalk. It's packets of goodness in various fruit flavors. It's a treat seemingly forged exclusively for kings. It's anything you want it to be. It's Fun Dip. I can't recall the first time I tried the stuff, but certainly, it's been around for a while. A long while. A miles-long while. In fact, it's actually a much rarer find these days, as single candy packs have swapped out their former trump cards in favor of more chocolately foods. I don't remember how it all started, but I've always loved Fun Dip. Me and some of my childhood best friends were in Little League, and whenever there was a game, the whole damn neighborhood would go down to the miniature ballfield to feign interest in a bunch of little kids smacking Louisville Slugger bats over batting tees. Becouse my friend was a year older, me and his brother did whatever we wanted (our gmae ended first), whether it be exploring the woods, or watching the game, I couldn't pass up the chance to hit that stupid snack stand as repeatedly as possible. Aside from Slushies, Fun Dip was the stand's top seller. We'd buy one, sneak to a spot where no one could see us, and I'd pour the three envelopes of sugar down my throat as quickly as possible, as he did the same. Then we'd return to the shack and repeat the process. Over and over again. Endlessly. These ballgames weren't things of finesse, but they were played at length. By the time the 7th inning rolled around, the amount of Fun Dip in my intestines would've supplied enough energy to hit that damn ball straight to Mars. Honestly, I didn't care. The sixty-seven packets of sugar threw me on trips so intense, I barely knew where I was anyway. Most of the time, I thought I was in an alien zoo where all the strange, purple creatures were forced to don clothing advertising Burger King and Blockbuster while throwing around spiked maces drenched in fire. I'm not sure what's in Fun Dip, but it makes magical things happen. Plus, it's sand you can eat.  Should I say it again? SAND YOU CAN EAT. You've really gotta consider that for a sec. It's sand...and you can eat it. Hence, 'sand you can eat.' I still love Fun Dip, but admittedly, it's for kids. And if there's one things kids always wanted to try despite their better judgment, it's eating sand. During adolescence, sand spent way more time in my mouth than anything put on the dinner table. It never worked out quite the way I wanted to -- tasted rather terrible, actually, but I couldn't give up hope because why would God invent sand if we weren't supposed to eat it? I refused to believe that sand's only purpose was to be dyed and distributed into empty glass cola bottles for boardwalk festival prizes. Today, we relive the glory of Fun Dip. The sand you can eat. Obviously, this is the most recent version of Fun Dip. Over the years, there's been many changes to the available flavors. In the great Blue Raspberry Boom of the late 90s, Candy Shop Paint Pop was there. These days, the public is more demanding, and the flavors reflect it. Don't get me wrong - most of the stuff tastes the same. Still, gone are the days when what we ate could simply be called 'cherry' or 'orange.' No, now it's 'Blasted Super Cherrybomb' and 'Orange You Glad You're Eating Orange.'  Each of the flavors is compartmentalized (real word?) into their own little envelopes. It takes a masterful skill of paper-ripping to separate the flavors without lots of spillage, so scissors are recommended. The pack I picked up had three different flavors - other Fun Dip varieties have just two, and some only have one. By this logic, I assume my package of Fun Dip to be three times the fun. Also take note of the clever atomic dust creatures representing each flavor. That's what I used to see after the 63rd helping at those Little League games. They seemed much scarier back then.  To eat the sandy candy, you're supplied with two Lik-a-Stix. They look like chalk, but taste sort of like a really bland Smartie. While they're no sporks, the Lik-a-Stix definitely get the job done. Without them, you'd have to use your fingers, and if you're six, your fingers are covered in snot and dirt and worm guts. When picking up your Fun Dip, always inspect the package closely to make sure that your Lik-a-Stix are still in one piece. Ain't nothing worse than broken Lik-a-Stix. Fastest way in the world to turn this bitch into Sad Dip. Keep your eyes open and you hands feeling when raiding the candy counter.  There's the sand. Okay, it's much softer than sand, but there's some clear associations shown. You don't get a whole lot of it, but the amount is ample enough to get your heart racing and your tongue doing those weird gymnastics thingies it does whenever you eat something intriguingly sour. Some people, like myself, prefer to simply 'drink' the sand straight from the envelope. It's tough to resist, but that just robs you of the chance to eat the Lik-a-Stix. Really, it does - those things just don't taste good enough on their own. They need sugar. Sand-like sugar. Blasted Super Cherrybomb sand-like sugar.  For those who've forgotten, here's how it goes: you lick one of the Lik-a-Stix, making sure to soak a good amount of it with your holy saliva. When finished, you must rush the stick into the envelope of sugar before your saliva dries. If done correctly, the sugar will pile atop your stick like magic. Yeah, some of it will spill. Yeah, most of it will spill. But the grains of sugar that touched the saliva portions of the stick? Those will stay. This is, bar none, the stupidest thread ever. So what? Fun Dip deserved a tribute. Let's examine the three flavors... The latest version of cherry is called 'Cherry Yum Diddly-Dip.' Suffice to say, the last thing I expected to eat today was Cherry Yum Diddly-Dip. Cherry is typically my favorite flavor in the universe of candy, and it's no different with Fun Dip. A complete in-tune mix of sweet and sour, just like the Chinese perfected for use with sweet n sour chicken Since candy knows no seasons, it's one of your only avenues to taste sweet cherries all year round. This stuff looks like the shit Joker and Catwoman turned half the UN into on the first Batman seriies (not that I watched Batman). I wonder if Fun Dip turns into the ambassador of Chile if you rehydrate it.  Secondly, we have 'Grape-Yumptious Dip.' I hate grape. If there's anything grape isn't, it's yumptious. I'll go for the Grape soda and Kool-Aid - but once they make the translation to candyized flavors, it tastes too much like cough syrup. Cough syrup without the added edge of ending your tormenting symptoms while making you giddy and sleepy. Crappy cough syrup. Not yumptious at all. The Beggar's Usual, grape only comes in handy if you have to share with someone else.  The final flavor is a real doozy, and indicative of the public outcry for wackier, more in-your-face candy. 'Razzapple Magic Dip.' THE DIP THAT WENT INSANE. Yes, the package boasts that the sand not only changes color with your spit, but also flavor. From blue raspberry to green apple? Can it be done? Here's the results, as best I could photograph:  Well, they do change colors, but mostly to your tongue. Going from a proud blue to a disgruntled green, the taste of this dip is pretty hard to describe. It's odd, but good. Good odd. Though now that they've done this, Pandora's Box is open. Who knows what they'll come out with next? I mean, Fun Dip is complicated enough as it is. Most candies only require you to shove them down your throat. With Fun Dip, you've gotta use chalk to collect sand from three different envelopes before getting anywhere near the first swallow. Making some of the flavors change colors and flavors is fueling things enough - I'm not sure how much more we could take. Fun Dip doesn't have the caramelly wonder of a Snickers or the stale crunch of a Butterfinger, but it's got one thing going for it that no other candy can stake a claim at. It's sand you can eat. Edited Fri Jun 02 2006, 12:10AM |
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| .4ngryToasters |
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you would
Registered Member #149
Joined: Sun Feb 12 2006, 01:08AMPosts: 2039 |
Yes, finally a candy truly worthy of its tribute. I forgot how awesome it was to eat sandy candy while playing your 3 pound black and white gameboy could be. Now I definately have to find a place that still sells the stuff. | ||
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| aborted fetus |
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The All-Cum Diet
Registered Member #47
Joined: Mon Dec 05 2005, 04:55PMPosts: 1888 |
Wu-banga wrote ... It's a treat seemingly forged exclusively for kings. It's anything you want it to be. It's Fun Dip. Possibly one of the funniest lines I have seen in a long time. I had a great laugh over that. .4ngryToasters wrote ... Yes, finally a candy truly worthy of its tribute. I forgot how awesome it was to eat sandy candy while playing your 3 pound black and white gameboy could be. Toast, between your post and Wu's, I almost pissed my pants. I have no idea why, but this thread has made me laugh. |
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| AwsedreswA |
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Registered Member #223
Joined: Wed Apr 26 2006, 10:53PMPosts: 126 |
Only thing I could think of the whole time reading was pop-rocks. I mean that shit explodes in your mouth, without the help of lik-stix. Instead they had feet on a stick.  But yeah man, powdered colored artificially flavored sugar is great. Pixie stiks, by the way, were not intended to be snorted. 
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| aborted fetus |
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The All-Cum Diet
Registered Member #47
Joined: Mon Dec 05 2005, 04:55PM Posts: 1888 |
Well, I'm on to Wu. Wu, you know what I mean. Don't make me embarrass you. |
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| BuBBLe GooSe |
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The Original MilfHunter
Registered Member #163
Joined: Mon Mar 06 2006, 02:24PMPosts: 1592 |
"Blue Raspberry Boom of the late 90s," > That's True! My favourite Bubbalicious gun flavour used to be the cherry, but when the Blueberry came out, I was hooked. I haven't seen Cherry or Blueberry Bubbalicious in forever! Hey, has anyone ever mixed Fun-Dip with Pop-Rocks? I'm gonna try it and I'll post the results... should be good. I'm still an old-school kinda candy eater. I like my Big League Chew. Its the 'original' flavour pink bubblegum, but its shredded and comes in a pouch to resemble chewing tobacco. I played baseball with a pouch of that stuff all the time. (Rotated some Sunflower Seeds into the mix every now and then, but that's not candy.) Popeye 'cigarette' candy sticks also taste really,,, cool. I've always wanted a large version of the stick, like a huge doink. Something that you could suck on all week or something...aborted fetus wrote ... Well, I'm on to Wu. Wu, you know what I mean. Don't make me embarrass you. Obviously somebody lacks BALLS!! Allow me..... -[link]- (Sry Wu, but Fetus set up the Ally, so I had to come in with the Oop! Ally-Oop!)   
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| aborted fetus |
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The All-Cum Diet
Registered Member #47
Joined: Mon Dec 05 2005, 04:55PM Posts: 1888 |
And there it is. I was going to allow Wu to maintain some dignity, but Goose nailed it. I still love Wu with all my heart, soul and semen. Wu & Fetus <3 4 Ever. Edited Fri Jun 02 2006, 04:33PM |
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| Wu-banga |
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Registered Member #49
Joined: Tue Dec 06 2005, 01:37AM Posts: 1561 |
well at least i modified the story so it sounded like my past a little bit so HA. | ||
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| aborted fetus |
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The All-Cum Diet
Registered Member #47
Joined: Mon Dec 05 2005, 04:55PM Posts: 1888 |
Don't worry, Wu. I was just breaking your balls. It was still a great story...funny as hell. If you find a funny story, post it. I enjoy reading your long threads...good for laughs. | ||
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| Night_Ninja |
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Registered Member #188
Joined: Sat Apr 01 2006, 04:34PMPosts: 261 |
Oh man I was about to declare you god and worhip you between this post and the summer post, but then you were revealed, I hope you wrote the other one Just joshin man, you rock, and fun-dip, shit I used to do ANYTHING to get my hands on this sandy sugary nectar of god. Anything. My fav line was the "This easily could turn this bitch into sad dip" funny as shit man. |
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