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| RUNNING DIARY OF SOX ALDS GAME ONE | ||
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| emerican |
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Registered Member #164
Joined: Tue Mar 07 2006, 12:07PMPosts: 3146 |
Well here we go. The beginning of the 2007 ALDS starts with the Boston Red Sox vs. the Los Angeles Angles (of Anaheim, of course). So I’ve decided to do a Bill Simmons-esque running diary of the game. 6:17 PM EST- Is it just me, or does Frank Thomas have no idea what the hell he’s doing at a desk in a studio? At least he doesn’t talk like a retard as much as he “runs” like one. 6:20 – Wait, I take that back. You can tell he has no experience behind the desk. Every other word he looks down and reads what is on the paper. Now, I’m no expert, but I have a feeling that’s not what you’re supposed to do. 6:26 - The second showing of a garmin gps commercial where the driver has an awkward confrontation with a gps. I’m sure you’ve seen this commercial. I figure it’ll show around 35-40 times between now and the end of the game. Does vegas have a line on this? 6:30 – Well whaddya know. Dennis Kucinnich and Hank Goldberg are our announcers. Should I turn off the sound now? 6:31 – I think Kucinnich’s ears are viewable from space. Am I alone on this? 6:32 – Garmin Count 2007: 3 6:35 – Game on! 6:48 – Garmin Count 2007: 4 6:51 – YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK!!!!! Home run into the monster. 1-0 sox 6:51 – Upon further review, the pitch was middle-in on Youk. Hell, Mariano Rivera could have hit that pitch into the monster seats. No wonder Lackey cant pitch at Fenway. 6:54 – Papi hits one past Orlando Cabrera into left. In all honesty, there is no red sox fan who would admit that letting the OC go was a good move. 3 shortstops in 3 years is bad. 6:59 – J.D. Who? Where’s Ellsberry? Id rather have Count Chocula hitting. 7:00 – Nancy hits a slow grounder to third. Strands two. Inning over. Might as well kill me now. 7:03 – Even with a change to Two and a half men I can’t escape good ol’ Garmin. Number 5 7:05 – Hank Goldberg explains to us how despite Mike Lowell’s lack of speed, he is one of the best defensive third basemen of all time. Now, you tell me, unless Lowell decides to field a grounder and RUN over to first base to make the out, how does his “lack” of speed affect his defense? 7:09 – Coco Crisp is going to win the gold glove this year. Does the fact that he has speed make him better than Mike Lowell? We’ll have to ask Hank. 7:12 – Why can’t Dane Cook’s playoffs commercial be funny? He’s a comedian, isn’t he? Make some jokes about the 2004 ALCS for gods sake. 7:14 – Hank Goldberg explains how the Red Sox didn’t accomplish their goal because “Despite winning the AL East, they didn’t accomplish their goal by keeping the Yankees out of the playoffs.” Yeah, like they have control over a surging team winning the wildcard over a falling Tigers team (who sucked to begin with). 7:16 – Who would win in a staring contest: Julio Lugo, or Reche Caldwell? 7:21 – According to Hank, Reggie Willits’ lack of power (0 home runs in 400 something at bats) is an “understatement.” Dare I explain? 7:24 – Yeah Hank, a Colorado team who has won 15 out of 16 to get into the playoffs winning in Philly is an upset. 7:24 – Why does Hank continually pronounce Chone Figgins’ name as Shawn? 7:24 – Why am I bashing Hank consistently? Because it’s funny, Bitch. Now sit down and make me a sandwich. 7:26 – Kenny Lofton DHL Count 2007 – 6. We have a new leader! 7:30 – Big Papi. Is. The. Man. 3-0 sox 7:35 – 4-0 7:45 – Hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmmmm hm, hmm hm hm hm hmm hmmmm. Cause its one, two, 3 baby ruth commercials dur-ing the game! 7:59 – With 2 outs in the inning, Kucinich says Garret “Pink Eye” Anderson grounded into a double play. 8:30 – 4-0 into the 8th, id call this a game. Time for some MVP Baseball 2005. By the way, the commercial contest results are as follows: 19 Garmin GPS commercials 14 DHL Kenny Lofton commercials 5 overly annoying Baby Ruth commercials Whatever happened to good ol' bud light? Edited Thu Oct 04 2007, 12:59AM |
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| aborted fetus |
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The All-Cum Diet
Registered Member #47
Joined: Mon Dec 05 2005, 04:55PMPosts: 1888 |
GO RED SOX!!! |
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| jigg4joe |
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Registered Member #326
Joined: Wed Jul 05 2006, 04:15AMPosts: 635 |
8:31 -- bomb goes off in the Red Sox dugout. the world rejoices. | ||
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| Knightrider |
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Meteor 2016
Registered Member #316
Joined: Mon Jun 26 2006, 09:14PMPosts: 3503 |
8:32. The world finally realizes that 80 percent of Yankees players are overpaid, and kill them all. | ||
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| Syntax |
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Rudeboy Supreme!
Registered Member #617
Joined: Fri Mar 23 2007, 06:37AMPosts: 1252 |
Than the world realizes how stupid Emer is for making this thread and twinkies him to death. Edited Thu Oct 04 2007, 01:22AM | ||
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| Amped |
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Hi
Registered Member #301
Joined: Thu Jun 15 2006, 01:55AMPosts: 888 |
THE FACT THAT THE TITLE OF THIS THREAD IS IN ALL CAPS HAS INSPIRED ME TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS FROM NOW ON. SEE THE EXTRA EFFECT IT GIVES THE POST? YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S CALLED EMER? IT'S CALLED ANNOYING. OH, AND THIS IS A STUPID THREAD, WAY TO GO. |
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| kamikaze |
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Registered Member #764
Joined: Sat Jun 30 2007, 01:17AMPosts: 542 |
MMM TASTY CAPS, I LIKE THE WAY YOU WORK AMPED. AND WHO ACTUALLY WATCHES BASEBALL, BETTER YET WHO ACTUALLY TALLIES SHIT DOWN (LIKE COMMERCIALS). WOW EMER YOU WERE RIGHT THE OTHER DAY WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO ME AND EATING PUMPKIN FLAVORED ICE CREAM (LOL I WAS LIKE WTF!) you have no life =P. <3 ALWAYS! Edited Thu Oct 04 2007, 02:31AM |
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| Syntax |
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Rudeboy Supreme!
Registered Member #617
Joined: Fri Mar 23 2007, 06:37AM Posts: 1252 |
I like baseball, but i dont stalk the platers like this sadistic kid does. | ||
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| emerican |
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Registered Member #164
Joined: Tue Mar 07 2006, 12:07PM Posts: 3146 |
wow guys thanks for supporting my aspiring dream to be a sportswriter... | ||
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| Syntax |
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Rudeboy Supreme!
Registered Member #617
Joined: Fri Mar 23 2007, 06:37AM Posts: 1252 |
Sports writters are fatties or fags. | ||
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