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| Pac-Man Poop? | ||
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| Evilpig |
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01nk3d bY tEh P1g
Registered Member #531
Joined: Thu Jan 04 2007, 05:27AMPosts: 707 |
 I STOLE THIS FROM HERE My brother, Fletch, and I were 8 and 6 years old, respectively, when Pac-Man debuted. As this IM conversation demonstrates, to this day we approach the game with the same wide-eyed curiosity and emotional maturity as we did in 1980. Tuesday, April 15 10:01:53 AM Owen: hey, pac-man question: how big were the dots and the energizers, in pixels 10:02:08 AM Fletch: You mean on the original video game screen? 10:02:16 AM Owen: yeah, 2x2 for dots, and roughly 8x8 for the energizers? 10:02:20 AM Fletch: i guess. I don't have bionic graphic measurement powers 10:02:37 AM Owen: I'm trying to figure how big a shit Pac-Man would take after one board. (you've been warned...) 10:03:15 AM Fletch: Isn't this begging the rather obvious question of the location of pac-man's anus? 10:03:30 AM Owen: ... 10:04:21 AM Fletch: I'm betting Pac anatomy would confound human xenobiologists 10:04:24 AM Owen: o_O 10:05:06 AM Owen: OK now, normal digestion, how much gets metabolized, how much is dookie, rough percentages. 10:05:25 AM Fletch: dunno, never saw pac-crap 10:06:14 AM Owen: neither have i, stupe. 10:06:18 AM Fletch: do we assume Pac's GI tract is reg'lar? Getting enuf dietery fiber? 10:06:22 AM Owen: this is for mature, healthy, nonsmoking male pac-adult 10:06:30 AM Fletch: that's the only way the word 'mature' ever gets into this conversation 10:07:00 AM Fletch: BRB 10:10:41 AM Fletch: OK, there are 266 dots on a screen 10:10:50 AM Fletch: roughly 2x2, so 4 pixels per dot 10:10:53 AM Owen: you google that? 10:11:00 AM Fletch: no- found a screeencap of the whole board at wikipedia, so I counted em 10:11:05 AM Owen: got damn you hardco 10:11:56 AM Fletch: nowait, I miscounted- thought the board was quadrilaterally symmetrical, but its only bilateral 10:12:05 AM Owen: O_o 10:12:30 AM Fletch: Ok dot count is 240- x 4 pixels is 960 10:12:38 AM Owen: alright, now the ghosts 10:12:47 AM Fletch: ghosts don't count towards crap, they ghosts. 10:13:04 AM Owen: no, he consumes their ghost costume but not their eyeballs. it's roughage. 10:13:17 AM Fletch: THEY GHOSTS 10:13:30 AM Owen: "ghost-monsters" according to teh cartoon 10:13:38 AM Fletch: Cartoon ain't canon 10:13:46 AM Owen: o_O 10:13:56 AM Owen: fine fuck the ghosts. 10:14:09 AM Fletch: damn straight. Now: energizers are 9x9- minus 12 for the corners, so that's 69. 10:14:21 AM Fletch: x 4 equals 276 10:14:29 AM Owen: wat about cherries 10:15:07 AM Owen: you get two of those per board 10:15:08 AM Fletch: they ain't on my screengrab 10:15:16 AM Owen: well dammit find another 10:16:50 AM Fletch: OK 98 pixels for cherries x 2 is 196 10:17:05 AM Owen: OK so that's 960 pixels for the dots, 276 for the energizers, 196 for the two fruit. i get 1432 pixels total consumed. now, let's say it's one of those high speed versions like we played at the pizza hut. so he's burning a ton of calories, and all of this stuff is super nutritious. and plus he reserves some that he'll convert to mass for when he goes supersize to chase blinky at the first intermission. so all but 25 pct is left in his intestines. that leaves: 10:17:25 AM Fletch: 358 pixel pac turd. let's say 360. what's the square root of 360 10:17:34 AM Owen: uh ... 10:22:50 AM Owen Good went away 10:22:55 AM Fletch: ohfercrissake 10:22:56 AM Owen Good (auto response) I am away from my computer right now. 10:22:59 AM Owen Good came back 10:23:01 AM Owen: uhhhh ... 11? 10:23:22 AM Fletch: 18.97, Mister Maf. 10:23:28 AM Owen: close enough 10:23:35 AM Fletch: so let's call it a square 19 pixels on each side 10:23:37 AM Fletch: now how big is pac. I'm betting he ain't that big 10:23:52 AM Owen: 16x16 at the max. 10:23:59 AM Fletch: 14x14. plus his butthole has to be only two or three pixels wide 10:24:09 AM Owen: owwwwwwwwwww 10:24:30 AM Fletch: so it ain't gonna come out square, it's going to be a big long squirt-dookie 10:24:35 AM Owen: ( O ) ___ ( o) (Wednesday, April 16) From: Fletch [redacted] Date: Wed, Apr 16, 2008 at 1:32 PM Subject: Re: conversation To: Owen Good [redacted] attachments:  To scale, pixel for pixel. Nearly 2x Pac-Man's mass. Note the reddened, chafed Pac-butt. This must be why the ghosts have to walk slowly through the tunnel.Later that day 13:40:28 PM Owen: lol blinky's all !!! omfg 13:40:33 PM Fletch: thanx 13:40:45 PM Owen: so i was trying to figure 13:40:49 PM Owen: what would the men's room look like after one round of Tapper 13:40:52 PM Fletch: I have to go now. Edited Sun Apr 20 2008, 10:42PM |
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| Maddogme |
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Registered Member #964
Joined: Sat Jan 12 2008, 07:23PMPosts: 1776 |
rofl wtf? | ||
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| Zero |
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I want to fuck your hand.
Registered Member #571
Joined: Thu Feb 15 2007, 09:59PMPosts: 2809 |
hahahahah total win, lmfao I kept up with the math so I was impressed, but now my head hurts 
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| b4ndito |
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b4ndito
Registered Member #958
Joined: Fri Jan 04 2008, 06:59AM Posts: 3385 |
Pig, you're crazy. | ||
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| Syntax |
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Rudeboy Supreme!
Registered Member #617
Joined: Fri Mar 23 2007, 06:37AM Posts: 1252 |
Instant classic. GREAT find. |
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| Rusty |
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FTS Server Op
Registered Member #159
Joined: Wed Mar 01 2006, 06:33PM Posts: 2682 |
that made me laugh a lil. thanks for the 420 funny! |
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| The Caller of Ktulu |
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Registered Member #310
Joined: Fri Jun 23 2006, 07:01AMPosts: 564 |
Its no find. Its actually pig doing it. | ||
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