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| THE Jokes Thread | ||
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AMPosts: 454 |
I heard a joke that's so funny you'll laugh your breasts right off. Oh... wait... You've already heard it. 
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AM Posts: 454 |
A blonde woman is driving along a country road out in rolling hills of the midwest when she sees some movement off in the distance. As she gets closer, she realizes that it is another blonde woman in a rowboat in the middle of a field rowing the boat like crazy, but of course going nowhere. She stops her car at the side of the road and gets out. She yells out to the blonde in the rowboat, "What the hell are you doing?" The blonde in the boat, obviously flustered, yells back, "I have got to hurry up and get home in time for dinner or I will be in real trouble!" The blonde at the side of the road is aggravated. "I can't believe this! You are out in the middle of a field in a row boat! It is blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! In fact, if I could swim, I would swim out there and kick your butt!" Edited Tue May 01 2007, 11:40PM |
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AM Posts: 454 |
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "OOh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to feed the dogs. We'll just wait." Well, a little while later, along came this really fat woman. The son said, "Hey dad, she's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait." About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her." "No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother." |
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AM Posts: 454 |
An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??" American (in a bad mood): "Of course." Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The American listens in silence. The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??" American: "Of Course." Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states." After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?" Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk. American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?" Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course." American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum and sell them to France." |
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| sierramist |
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Registered Member #713
Joined: Sun May 20 2007, 12:58PMPosts: 210 |
I wish my grass was emo..... then it would cut itself ( jkjkjkjkjkjk) im only kidding KD please dont get mad, | ||
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AM Posts: 454 |
A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor the doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try, it takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father." So the married couple decided that they would try this. So the doctor hooked the machine up and put it on 10% of pain switched from the mother to the father and the husband said "I feel okay turn it up a lot more" so the doctor turned it up to 50% and the husband said "why don’t you just put it all on me cause I’m not feeling a thing" but the doctor warned them "this much could kill you if your not prepared", and the husband replied "I am ready "so the doctor turned the machine up to 100% but the husband didn’t fell a thing so they went home happy with a pain free labor, but when they got home the mailman was dead on the front porch! | ||
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| nostie |
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Registered Member #185
Joined: Thu Mar 30 2006, 10:42PMPosts: 3167 |
haha good last one ultraman. didn't see that coming 
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| Knightrider |
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Meteor 2016
Registered Member #316
Joined: Mon Jun 26 2006, 09:14PMPosts: 3503 |
Explain to me? I don't get it. | ||
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| Ninca |
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Registered Member #561
Joined: Sun Feb 04 2007, 07:45AMPosts: 1109 |
The real father was the mailman, and let's just say he wasn't expecting the pain while delivering the mail. | ||
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| Kubed |
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Registered Member #631
Joined: Thu Apr 05 2007, 02:18AMPosts: 33 |
Alright, heres one you tell your old-lady when she's raggin and pissin you the hell off. 1. Hey, I heard FedEx and UPS are combining into one corporation, Guess what its called? 2. Fed Up, Like I am with You! bitch! |
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