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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AMPosts: 454 |
So a warlock walks into a bar and sits down. He orders a glass of beer and starts relaxing, sipping his drink, enjoying the atmosphere, when all of a sudden, a paladin walks in and sits next to him. He turns to look at the warlock and gets a huge grin on his face. 'Hey buddy, conjure me up something to drink,' he says in an arrogant tone. The warlock raises an eyebrow and looks to the paladin, clearly confused. He carefully set his bottle down and spoke, slowly, clearly, and carefully, so as not to confuse the paladin. 'You want me to summon water? Buddy, you've got the wrong person...' With that said, he returned to his drink, sure the conversation was over. Much to his chagrin, the paladin spoke up once again. 'Well if you can't conjure me up something to drink, can you at least conjure me up something to eat?' he asked, irritation seeping into his voice. The warlock sighed heavily and set his drink down, turning once again to face the paladin. 'If I can't conjure you something to drink, what makes you think I could conjure you something to eat? You clearly need a mage, now stop bothering me.' Sighing exasperatingly, he returned to his drink, only to find the paladin nudging his shoulder. 'Oh I'm sorry,' he said mockingly to the warlock, a jeering look on his face. 'I thought you had something to offer to someone other than yourself.' With an angry grunt, the warlock smoothly rose from his seat, grabbed his bottle of beer, and swung it hard to port, smashing the paladin full in the face. The paladin collapsed on the floor amidst a shower of beer, blood, shards of glass, and shattered pride, groaning loudly. The warlock tossed the broken neck of the bottle on the floor, and smoothed his robes. 'Oh I'm sorry,' he said with a smile. 'I thought you could tank.' |
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| Ultraman Is Air |
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Quan Regulator
Registered Member #613
Joined: Thu Mar 22 2007, 05:41AM Posts: 454 |
Just beyond the Undercity a great Necropolis landed. Drawn by curiosity, the Lady Sylvanas herself went to see what it was. From within emerged a warlock. With a booming voice he challenged the entire army of the Undercity. Intrigued, the Lady Sylvanis sent for her army and instructed them to meet with her in front of the Necropolis. Thinking that a mere 100 men could silence this warlock, she sent them in. As they disappeared from view Lady Sylvanas heard fighting erupt. Minutes passed and none of her soldiers emerged. The warlock walked out grinning. 'Surely you can do better!' Slightly annoyed, Lady Sylvanas sent in 200 men. Again, as they disappeared from view, she heard the sounds of combat. Again, no soldier emerged. The warlock came into view obviously amused. 'I'm very disappointed.' Furious over losing 300 men for nothing, Lady Sylvanas sent in her entire army, thinking this time the entire Necropolis would be razed to the ground. She listened to the fighting and when it finally ceased, one soldier emerged, obviously near the brink of death. As he staggered back to his Lady, he gasped 'It was a trap... there were two warlocks! |
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| Czech Pride |
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Registered Member #518
Joined: Wed Dec 27 2006, 01:15AMPosts: 911 |
Lolz I like the WoW ones, they make me lol!! | ||
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| Czech Pride |
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Registered Member #518
Joined: Wed Dec 27 2006, 01:15AM Posts: 911 |
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer few er heart attacks than Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. |
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| Czech Pride |
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Registered Member #518
Joined: Wed Dec 27 2006, 01:15AM Posts: 911 |
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" |
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| Hakha[reaper] |
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![Hakha[reaper]](/media/avatar/100x0/upload/vida2.1170289297.jpg)
Registered Member #554
Joined: Tue Jan 30 2007, 10:44PMPosts: 10 |
Hope this doesnt offend anyone but i doubt it will. There is a plane flying over seas when all of a sudden the plane starts losing altitude and the pilot tells everyone they are going to crash and die. In a frenzy of panic one woman stands up and yells "I do not want to die without feeling like a woman first" A man rapidly stands up in front of her, takes his shirt off, and says "Here wash this" |
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| L3muR |
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Registered Member #378
Joined: Tue Aug 08 2006, 09:28PMPosts: 239 |
What did the blind, deaf, paraplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer ------------------------------- What's worse then a truck full of dead babies? Ones Alive at the bottom. What's worse than that? It has to eat it's way out. Whats worse than that? It comes back for seconds! ----------------------- Whats worse than 5 babies pinned to a tree? A baby pinned to 5 trees! |
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